I’m not a big believer in regrets. I think I’m where I am for a certain reason even if I don’t understand why at the time. But if I could go back to my high school world, there are a few things I’d do differently.
(1) I’d take the classes I really wanted to take, but didn’t want to leave my friends or take a class that was “uncool.” I wish I’d been in FFA and raised a goat or a cow or something. I have a weird dream of moving out to the farm and becoming a cattle rancher at some point when I give up on teaching. I could have learned how to to do that in FFA.
(2) I wish I hadn’t always been so scared of rejection. I was always sure that I’d never get asked to Homecoming or to the Prom, so I made sure to make plans that wouldn’t allow me to go to Homecoming or the Prom when the weekend came around. Of course, I never got asked. I don’t know if it was the tail wagging the dog – maybe I wouldn’t have gotten asked even if I hadn’t already presumed that I wouldn’t, but I’ll never know. I was too scared to be rejected so I just took myself out of the game. I was insecure and scared and created a situation for rejection.
(3) I wish I’d spent more time with my dad watching football games. In high school, I was too cool to hangout with him every Sunday, and in college I was too busy. After college, I was trying to build my own identity separate from his. I’d give anything right now to be able to sit and watch a football game or March Madness or the NBA playoffs and let him school me on the game.
I don’t regret any of my choices because they’ve made me who I am today. Well, except for the whole Shoulder Pad Period of the Early 2000s … I clung on to that moment for way too long after it was out of fashion. But I do wish I’d taken a few more risks: put myself out there instead of assuming rejection, taken that class that deep down I know is weird but I would probably like it. And at least I got unconditional love in my dog. Because how can you not see this face and know unconditional love.