Tag: do-overs

What I Would Do Over

I’m not a big believer in regrets. I think I’m where I am for a certain reason even if I don’t understand why at the time. But if I could go back to my high school world, there are a few things I’d do differently.

(1) I’d take the classes I really wanted to take, but didn’t want to leave my friends or take a class that was “uncool.” I wish I’d been in FFA and raised a goat or a cow or something. I have a weird dream of moving out to the farm and becoming a cattle rancher at some point when I give up on teaching. I could have learned how to to do that in FFA.

(2) I wish I hadn’t always been so scared of rejection. I was always sure that I’d never get asked to Homecoming or to the Prom, so I made sure to make plans that wouldn’t allow me to go to Homecoming or the Prom when the weekend came around. Of course, I never got asked. I don’t know if it was the tail wagging the dog – maybe I wouldn’t have gotten asked even if I hadn’t already presumed that I wouldn’t, but I’ll never know. I was too scared to be rejected so I just took myself out of the game.  I was insecure and scared and created a situation for rejection.

(3) I wish I’d spent more time with my dad watching football games. In high school, I was too cool to hangout with him every Sunday, and in college I was too busy. After college, I was trying to build my own identity separate from his. I’d give anything right now to be able to sit and watch a football game or March Madness or the NBA playoffs and let him school me on the game.

I don’t regret any of my choices because they’ve made me who I am today. Well, except for the whole Shoulder Pad Period of the Early 2000s … I clung on to that moment for way too long after it was out of fashion. But I do wish I’d taken a few more risks: put myself out there instead of assuming rejection, taken that class that deep down I know is weird but I would probably like it. And at least I got unconditional love in my dog. Because how can you not see this face and know unconditional love.IMG_2302

Do-overs

I go back to school this week, and I’m reminded of one of the greatest things I love about teaching. The kids are the best and my favorite part – as cheesy as that sounds – but I love the fact that teaching allows for do-overs. Every new school year brings a chance to change what I didn’t like from last year; I can close the chapter of a bad year and start brand new with a new group of kids. It’s the same way I feel about Mondays and new months and new years … we always get a chance to start over.

Football started back this week (photo courtesy of KXAN news), along with all the other fall sports, and the start of a season means the kids and coaches have the chance to start the season brand new. Whatever happened last year doesn’t matter, they start keeping score from right here, right now.

My kids who graduated are going off to college to start a whole new life. Some of them are excited; most of them are terrified whether they’ll admit it or not. College represents a chance to start over & be whoever you want to be, create whatever identity you want & leave behind those parts of your high school self that need leaving behind. You get a do-over.

Even Blue Bell ice cream gets a do-over and is coming back to the shelves of Blue-Bell starved Texans who have suffered through #Summer2015 without the sustenance of the best ice cream in the land. But it’s coming back people, and we are on the road to normalcy.

A few summers ago, I decided I was going to have the Summer of Cathy and embrace all that the summer had to offer. I took a horseback riding class, cooking class, yoga class, photography class. I took road trips, spent time at the Farm reading books and watching tv and movies and going where I wanted to go and doing what I wanted to do. I didn’t get that this summer. This summer was a little more Real Life where I took care of  my mom as best as my sister and I could. By the time she seemed to settle in to the Senior Living center and we were down to about 2 phone calls a day (from the 12-14 a day we got in the early days) I felt like I was actually going to get a summer. Not a full summer … but two weeks of summer. A Fortnight of Cath if you will. Enough to sit by the pool, and take a road trip, and finish reading a book, and see Mission Impossible. Plus, I got to stay in an Airstream with Gracie. It was enough. It was plenty.  IMG_3035

On Thursday my do-over for teaching begins.  That means that my do-over for reconnecting with grown adult humans & co-workers is also starting, and frankly terrifies me. I’m socially awkward on my very best days but take me out of circulation for 8 months, and quite honestly, I’m not sure if I can have a real-life conversation with someone other than my dog or my sister for more than 5 minutes. That will be my personal adventure.  I’ll be sure to update on all the awkwardness that I have no doubt will ensue.

For now folks, go embrace these last days of summer if you still have some; college kids, reinvent whatever that part is of you that’s been wanting to be reinvented. Everyone else, go buy some new pencils and a notebook and remember what it felt like to start a new school year fresh and unencumbered by any mistakes from your past. What is it you’d like a do-over on? Go for it.